We live in a society where if you do what everyone wants out of you, then you are perfect material.
ससुराल में इस तरह बात नहीं करते
पति से ज़ुबान नहीं चलाते
सास और ननद से डर के रहो
बर्दाश्त करने की ताक़त रखो
Adjust करना सीखो
धीरे धीरे सब सही हो जाएगा
सास को माँ की तरह रखो
पति की हार बात मानो
But has anyone realised that this is the 21st century and women are no longer dummies now..!!!
Well I may be a bit too personal and emotional while writing this article today, but last night, I had a feeling that my thoughts and my words need to be written. So this piece today is totally autobiographical and inspired from innumerable true and sad events.
Nowadays, when I think of my future, i feel that I need to plan my retirement. And my retirement plan is not at all normal as to how I’m planning to settle in my old age… My retirement plan is totally bizarre and anti-social so if someone has an orthodox attitude, then you should probably just stay away from my influence as much as possible.
I’m saying this today after being married for 1 year and frustrated over months… If seen otherwise, my married year consisted of 365 days of total frustrations, innumerable teary nights, uncounted quarrels and an infinite quest for love and support.
People often told me that I need to see my husband’s home as my own; but what they should’ve thought before saying this is, “Do these people even accept me as their own family?”
And then there would’ve come the most disappointing answer – NO, and they probably never will… And personally, I don’t even think that any family accepts their daughters-in-law the way she is… They all want changes and adjustments and sacrifices and most importantly, a subject, a property that they can use anytime they want.
Women are victims of many crimes, but the one crime which is committed in every house is the torture they give to their daughters-in-law. Each and every family will accept their daughters-in-law if : खाना अच्छा बनना आता हो। बदतमीज़ी ना करे। आवाज़ ना उठाए। ऊँची आवाज़ में बात ना करे। सब्र रखे , सबकी सेवा करे, और ज़्यादा उम्मीद ना रखे।
The problem is that mothers have forgotten to teach their sons. Mothers have forgotten to teach them how life changes after you get a wife because – “तू लड़का है तू क्यूँ बदलेगा ? वो अपने आप को बदलेगी इस नए घर के हिसाब से।”
8 out of 10 mothers have this mentality due to which it has become impossible to stay in a joint family nowadays. This attitude and lack of proper upbringing is responsible for nuclear families and marital disharmony between husband wife.
A couple, which once used to be the best of friends, starts to hate each other because of this kind of attitude of in-laws. Love vanishes totally and the couple gets on the verge of either killing each other or themselves.
But again, as I said let’s not generalise. This is totally my opinion, inspired by my own experiences.
So, lastly I’d like to just give a short message to all the readers. If you’re a husband, ‘Please wake up and be a man for a change.’
If you’re a Daughter-in-law, ‘Do not lose yourself in the race of becoming your husband’s favourite. Trust me, they’ll never be as dedicated as you are. Don’t become a whore for a coward.’
And if you’re a Mother-in-law, ‘The girl is the future of your family. Your daughters will go and settle elsewhere, but it’s your daughters-in-law who’ll accompany you in your senescence.Learn to respect them before it’s too late. Because if the girl is tolerating everything, it’s not because she’s weak or timid, it’s because she loves your son. Maybe you can’t digest it. But if she is staying in your family and keeping up with your shit, then don’t misuse her.’
Kindly understand this. I wrote this article semi-autobiographically, but I think we all relate to it somewhere or the other. If anyone is suffering in their married life, it’s my request to all those girls, please stop watering dead plants.
Think about it !