Speak ! Woman.

PC – google.com

We often hear stories and incidents of women being oppressed and subordinated by their husbands. Or women being mistreated by her in laws and her husband. May be many of us are still facing that. And as a woman, I know that all we want is for our husbands to support us if someone says something to us. Or if not husband, then at least our father is our last ray of hope.
But let me tell you, some women don’t even have that. Some women are neither supported by their husbands nor their fathers. In fact, I have seen women whose fathers support their daughter’s husband and advocate their misbehaviour. That you know why he beat you up? Because you were asking too much of him. You know why he left you? Because you were putting too many restrictions on him. You know why he doesn’t talk to you properly? because you argue and fight with him all the time.
Trust me, this is all true and it happens. I have seen it.
But after a woman is abandoned both by her husband and her father, what does she do next ? Or what is she supposed to do next? She goes to her mother obviously. But even mothers are not of any help. Because mothers are themselves the sufferers at their husband’s hands. They themselves couldn’t do anything, how are they supposed to support their daughters ? How are they supposed to save their daughters from the torture ?
They obviously cannot. And the in-laws and the husband take undue advantage of that. They keep on beating and mistreating the woman. Sometimes, even the physical intimacy becomes marital rape.
Because how is a woman supposed to love her husband if the husband is a cunt ? If the husband has always been an asshole to her? If the husband has always made her only cry and cry and cry and nothing else. If the husband couldn’t give her anything, on the contrary, kept on taking everything away from her ? Even her own parents…!!!
No woman on this Earth can love such a man. And obviously she shouldn’t. I wouldn’t.
There comes a time in a failed marriage where even sex comes to feel like rape. Trust me, when that feeling comes, its time to re-evaluate what you are putting your efforts in to.
A woman should try and evaluate if the relationship she’s suffering for is worth it or not. If the relationship is still alive or dead beat. There are times when the relationship is no longer worth keeping. There are times when the relationship is better off broken. And I don’t find a single reason why a woman sticks in the relationship. Maybe she sticks up still because her family doesn’t support her and she would have nowhere to go. Or maybe she’s sticks up because somewhere she still has a hope that the relationship might improve.
But the harsh reality my friend is – Nothing ever changes. No one is going to change themselves for you, sweetie !
You need to get up, get dressed and become the bitch they have been raising for so many days. If people think you are a trouble, then be a trouble for them. Leave everything and everyone behind and just focus on how better your life could be without this man besides you. How better your life could be without him ! And then if you get even a single smile imagining your future where he is not there, then my friend, it is time to leave. It is time to be better and brighter. It is time to be a woman again.


Reality Check !

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Reality is defined in many ways by many people. But according to my definition, reality is nothing but just your mental makeup about accepting what is going on in your life right now at this moment. I, sometimes, tend to turn away from that ‘reality’. I’m sure many of us try to do that. We don’t usually accept something going on in our lives whole-heartedly. We mostly figure out ways to turn away from the reality and seek an ‘escape’ elsewhere. We go to happy places, meet happy people and do anything which can take us away from the actual reality. 

But does it really help? 

I don’t think so…because as soon as we come back into our normal life again, all those realities come gushing back to us. They come so fiercely that we often forget everything good and happy. The feelings which we know are true. So, realities of our lives can never actually be neglected. 

So, why not we start accepting the realities? We don’t we just accept the situations or people the way they are? Because we are human beings. Small, tiny creatures in the universe and we don’t have that power to change all the situations in our favor. Neither do we possess the power to change any person. So, why even try? 

As I have written in my previous blog, “Never water dead plants.” We waste 80-85% of our lives’ precious moments in changing a person or making situations livable. But I don’t think we succeed truly. Because a human being can’t be changed by us until and unless he himself is willing to change – not even for better. 

So, in my opinion, rather than trying to change the unchangeable, how about we change ourselves? I am not supporting a total loss of our self-identity, but all I am trying to say is that why should we even consider changing anyone around us? It never ends up doing any good to us…

Personally, even I have tried my level best to change many people. To make them a better son, a better daughter, a better human overall, but it doesn’t work that way. That’s my realization after spending years of my life. Now, when I am 26, I have realized that I have wasted not just years, but the precious time which I could’ve utilized in doing something worthy. 

Even if a person changes 0.01% for you, there are people around who come and say, “Don’t be a puppet in someone’s hands.” 

Yes, I agree that you should not change according to everyone’s needs, but you should at least realize what kind of changes in your attributes will get you a more peaceful and happy life. Being stubborn and just blaming others for what they have done to you won’t get you any good. If you want to be happy and stable, you need to modify yourself according to the environment. For ex., when women get married, they change and modify a lot for their husbands and in-laws. But there is a limit to which they can change themselves. They cannot at once become Seetha from Geetha. That is just not possible. So, in that case, at least the husband or the in-laws should change something within themselves too. But, unfortunately, we live in a society where there are zero chances of that happening. Girls are always taught not to demand or expect anything in return for what they do. And girls readily mold themselves that way they don’t expect anything. But why does that have to be so? 

But it really happens. And it happens because they are open to changes. They accept the reality of life and their present situation and change. 

But that is wrong and totally against your own individuality. The motto of my blog today is just to say that one should accept and know the reality in and out. Changing will get us what and how. Unless, there is a satisfactory answer to this question, changing yourself or others is just as useless and stupid as wearing a helmet while driving a car. 

So, kindly learn to accept the reality and then make changes in others’ and your lives. If the gut feeling says that nothing is ever going to come out of making changes, then my friend, that is the bitter reality which one needs to accept and move on accordingly. 

Think about it !