People say what happened in the past should be forgiven and forgotten.
But can we really forgive and forget ? We don’t, we can’t and we shouldn’t. Because forgetting the past means you will not learn anything from it in your future endeavours. And forgiving the past means that somewhere, you settled for agreement to what happened.
I personally can never do that.
Although, yes there is a mental blockage which might stay in my mind forever, but still I can’t forgive and forget.
I kind of like packed up all those emotions, all those feelings, all that love in a box and locked it. And I am not willing to open that box ever again. But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about that.
NO, I HAVEN’T. And I will not FORGIVE. I might cry for hours and hours, but I’ve learnt to live it. Sometimes, it still breaks my heart… but it doesn’t seem like I’m forgiving anyone for anything that they might have done to me. Yes, I’ve learnt to live with them. But it doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven them.
You come to me even when I am not asleep. People say it’s a day-dream, but I believe it’s just a dream.
I see the same palm trees swaying on a deserted beach, the sand flowing through my fingers, my waves playing hide and seek with my feet. I count to 5 – and catch the waves… they wait for me and come swirling back… The breeze is so calm and the sound of the breeze is just as charming as the sound of the anklets of a newly-wed bride. The breeze whispers in my ears “Be lost in us”.
And I go by their sounds, following them towards the palm trees…the swaying tall lush palms…!!!
I go and I go and I go till I can no longer feel the beach sands beneath my feet.
My feet are all covered in sand, just like the feet of a newly-wed bride covered with henna.
I follow the breeze into the palm forest and there awaits a swing for me… I swing on it till the evening drops and the dusk approaches.
Now, there is just the sound of waves, hitting the beach and shuddering back…
I witness the sound of breeze turning into a snarl. The sound of beach-birds turning into howls… and at the end of that forest, I see – The palace of Bells and Mirrors.
A beautiful, well-lit yet dark palace. With no haunted past, no unwelcomed spirits, the house welcomes me…. I follow my Breeze and enter…
A beautiful antique mirror, with wooden carvings around it gazes at me. Yes, the mirror gazes at me… I gaze back. But the mirror smiles. The mirror smiles at me, and I ring a bell near it. The sound of the bell … can’t explain in words. Not just a ding, but the echo of all my pains. The mirror takes away the echoes of all my pains.
I smile and move forward. There is a Mirror of Wishes…! I ring the bell near it… and it sounds like it is going to be my love – always with me, holding me in its arms, clutching me hard and kissing my wet lips. The Mirror of Wishes gazes into my eyes and makes my life – A Cinderella Movie. Takes away all my grief and leaves behind, just the things I truly wished for….
There is a stairway going upstairs. I turn around before going up and my breeze whispers to me “I will meet you at the other end, my love.”
So, I go up… and there is nothing but darkness. I miss my breeze… I want to come out of the dream… but I am lost. I can’t find a way… So, I turn back and there’s nothing… No palace, no mirrors nothing.
I walk with all my courage and keep on walking and walking and walking….
My fast-paced walk leads me back to the Sea… No palm trees on my way back.
The breeze comes to me again and says, “Time to go, my love !”
I hold its pace and go with it…only to wake up and follow it again the next night… the next night, every night, forever……