Heart Aches

Fear not, the end is near !

PC – google.com

Sometimes, when I think about what should I write next, a lot of topics come gushing in to my mind. I feel like writing about the mental abuse of married women, then I feel like writing about how demeaning love has become nowadays and that how it is being just misused and misquoted as a word and misunderstood as well. But then I get a feeling, that if I write on all these things, will my readers think that I am just pouring out my life history to them! Or would they accept the feelings hidden in my words and try to console me? Well, in both the cases, I am at loss.

Because if someone starts to see me as a crybaby, and they try to lend me a shoulder, then I am being weak and they will get power over me. And next time, I won’t be able to withstand any kind of pain alone. And if someone doesn’t understand my feelings, then also I’ll feel bad. So, what should I do then???

Well, let me tell you, I still write. I feel writing is my thing and maybe I don’t write that well but whatever is write comes straight from my heart. So, in a way I am still pouring my heart out to you all. Because I am not scared. I am not scared of anybody. I am not scared of what people will think about me or talk about me. I don’t know why, but I am just not scared at all.
I live freely as I have always done and I will 100% continue doing so in future, regardless of the fact that even my family is not happy about many things I do. But then, even they do stuff which cuts my heart deep. However, it’s not a revenge I am provoking you all to take, but just this one thing that – Fear Nothing. 

Fear nothing and no one. Fear is nothing but a power over yourselves that you give to things or people so that they can steer your life in whichever direction they want. 

Everyone wants to live happily, but living happily and fearlessly is an art. No one is born with it but sometimes, after witnessing a hell lot of drama and torture in life, one becomes totally fearless. A fearless person, like me, is not afraid of what consequences will the decision have… I just contemplate upon how blissful or toxic the relationship is. If it is toxic, I leave. Without trying to give life to dead plants, I save myself from dying and leave. 

Similarly, a fearless person has the guts to accept that no matter how hard it is, I will learn to stay on my own and I will learn from my past mistakes. 

Stupid people on the contrary, remain stuck to the root of the problem and keep giving themselves the false appraisal that they have more balls to sustain this kind of circumstances.    

I say, who has asked you to compromise? I f you are not happy, LEAVE. Just don’t judge those people who choose to live with pride and self-respect rather than stupid, aimless and meaningless morals and values.

Heart Aches

मेरा इश्क़ – मेरा पहला इश्क़ ।

मेरा पहला इश्क़, इश्क़ था भी या नहीं मैं नहीं जानती ।

मेरे लिए वो सब कुछ था 

वो लम्हा ही सब कुछ था , वो पल ही सब कुछ था ।

उसके लिए इश्क़ था या नहीं , मैं नहीं जानती ।

मेरी राहों पे चलता था , मेरे रंगों में बहता था 

पर इश्क़ था या नहीं , मैं नहीं जानती ।

मेरे साथ रहता था , उसके साथ में मैं रहती थी 

पर वो इश्क़ था या नहीं , मैं नहीं जानती ।

ना जान पायी हूँ अब तक , ना जान पायी थी तब 

जब वो मुझे छूता था , वो मेरे लिए इश्क़ था या नहीं मैं नहीं जानती ।

दुनिया कहती रही मैं पागल, दुनिया कहती रही मैं जाहिल 

पर वो मेरे लिए इश्क़ था , यह मैं जानती थी ।

मेरी आँखो को पढ़ता था या नहीं , पता नहीं 

लेकिन उसकी आँखो में दिखता था , वो इश्क़ नहीं तो क्या था ।

मेरी चाहतों में उसका नाम था , मेरी दुआएँ उसकी ग़ुलाम 

मेरे लब उसकी जायदाद , पर वो मेरा इश्क़ था ।

मैंने कभी नहीं जाना , की वो क्यूँ गया कहाँ गया 

पर आज जो मेरे पास है , उसकी यादें , वो मेरे इश्क़ हैं ।

मेरी दुनिया में वो आज भी है 

मेरे सपनो में वो आज भी है 

दिन ढल गए, रातें गुजर गयी 

लेकिन जो राह गया , वो इश्क़ है या नहीं , मैं नहीं जान पायी ।

उसका एहसास , है मेरे पास 

उसका एहसान , है मेरे नाम 

लेकिन वो एहसान था या इश्क़,मैं नहीं जानती ।